Of Love and of War
by Ros3bud009
Summary: Johnny thinks back to an interesting conversation he had with Cilla and finally realizes his feelings for Rab. what will our hero do about it? and what happens when Rab comes to see is Johnny's ok? (Yaoi)


I'm back! but not with the fic I was planning on bringing.

This is a fan fiction on a very good book called _Johnny Tremain _by Esther Forbes, (meaning I don't own them). Anyway, for any of you who haven't read the book, it's about a boy named Johnny who is a silversmith until he burns his hand in an accident. He meets Rab, a printer, and soon Johnny becomes the delivery boy for the newspaper. But the civil war is loaming its ugly head and our two main boys are in cahoots with the Sons of Liberty.

There isn't actually any yaoi action in the story, (although there is lots of hintage if you ask me) and I decided that if I was to write a book report about this book, I had to get the dirty thoughts out of my system. (meaning that yes, there is mansex in it. don't be stupid. )

Anyway, enjoy!

Of Love and of War.

"Wonderful…" Johnny murmured to himself, thinking back to his conversation with Cilla. He was able to slip out of the shop for the afternoon to think a bit. Now he sat on the edge of his favorite dock. It was small but no one lived nearby to shoo him off. He came here when he was staying with the Lapham's as an apprentice, he came here after he burned his hands, and still he came, just to think.

He had thought of his conversation with Cilla a lot lately. She spook of Rab the way he figured most girls spook of the ones they care about; lovingly. Johnny certainly didn't think he thought lovingly of Rab, yet oddly enough, Cilla still knew what Johnny was thinking. She knew that he thought Rab was wonderful. How? Could it be his feelings for Rab were similar to the girl's?

Sighing, he threw a rock and watched its small arcs as it skipped across the water. It only bounced twice before sinking. When he was younger he could get a good rock to go five or six times, but now he had to rely on his left hand which was not nearly as good as his right had been. Damn his misfortune. Then again, if not for his hand being burned and scared, he might never have met Rab…

There he went again. Why did his thoughts always lead back to Rab? Sure the boy was kind, strong and wonderful but still…there he went again! He couldn't help it. He knew he had feelings for Rab, but could it be that his feelings were even closer to Cilla's then he was comfortable with?

He thought back to the conversation again, remembering how he felt when the girl told him about how Rab had often taken her out and about. Johnny became very jealous and thought he was jealous of the young man for taking Cilla. But the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if perhaps it was actually Cilla he was jealous of. That he wanted Rab to buy

Him sweets, to take Him out. Then again maybe he was just angry that all this had gone on behind his back, that Rab hadn't told him about this. Even so, why should he care? It was only natural that the young man would start courting.

/But I don't want him to court/ Johnny thought to himself selfishly. /I don't want him to go and find himself a girl. I want him to stay with me at the printing shop, to stay with me in the attic, to stay with me…I want him…/

Johnny could feel his body stiffen as the last few words passed his mind. He…he wanted Rab? But that…that just wasn't right. Rab was his friend, his companion, not a love interest. Oh god, did he just say love interest? He couldn't think of the young man like that. He was…well he was a young Man. Johnny couldn't fall in love with a man. Then again, even when he was a silversmith he admitted that he didn't like women…

"Oh god…" Johnny whimpered to himself. "I'm…I'm in love with Rab…"

He sat still as stone for a while, staring out onto the water with disbelief. He was in love with Rab. How the heck did this happen? He was a boy for god's sake. He couldn't be in love with the young printer. It just wasn't right. None of this was right…

But whether it was right or not didn't matter. He was in love with Rab. There was no way around it. But also there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't tell the young man his feelings. That would probably be the worst thing he could do. So he would just have to keep his feelings to himself.

Standing, he took off his clothes before jumping into the cool water, hoping to calm himself. He tried to clear his mind, just like when he first burned his hand. He would swim just like this, trying to forget. That was one of the things that jumped out at Johnny when he first met Rab that day in the print shop. The boy didn't gasp in disgust, shun him out the door or even take pity on him. He simply inquired about the burn, acting as if it was as unimportant as the weather. Johnny liked that, liked the way Rab was so suave about things like his hand or other such things.

Rab always knew just what to say and do, always knew his place and knew when he couldn't take his place anymore. The only thing that Johnny didn't like was the printer boy's lust for blood. Ever since that first fight with the butcher's son, he knew Rab was a soldier at heart. He didn't mind it so much at the time, but now with a war with the British coming, Johnny became more and more worried. The way the young man obsessed about his need for a better gun, and the way he casually spook of the British outfits as targets in battle…it scared him. He didn't want to think of Rab as a killer, though he knew many would disagree. They would tell him that Rab would be a hero, a champion, a perfect soldier. But in his heart Johnny knew that these were all just fancy ways of saying killer.

That wasn't all that bothered him. He constantly worried about what Otis had said. 'Some soon will give their lives. All the years of their maturity. All the children they never live to have. The serenity of old age. To die so young is more then merely dying; it is to lose so large a part of life.'

Johnny didn't want Rab to die. He just couldn't imagine a life without his friend, his love…he couldn't stand the thought. He knew if a war was to come that Rab would go and fight, killing some fine British men, before finally coming to his own demise. He didn't want that. He wanted Rab to stay with him. He wanted Rab to have that life, those years of maturity, those children, those years of old age. Even if Johnny couldn't always be by his side, even if he met a girl that fit his needs and left him, it didn't matter. He didn't want Rab to die. He didn't…

Johnny clung to the dock's leg, tears now spilling down his face. He loved Rab. He loved him and didn't want him to be a killer, to die and lose the rest of his life. That was the difference between Cilla and Johnny. Cilla only fancied Rab, making herself oblivious to his faults. But not Johnny. He loved Rab and couldn't hide from the faults, from the fears. He was so scared right now. He desperately wanted someone, anyone to help him.

"Johnny?" came Rab's calming voice. Johnny's eyes sprung open as he looked up at the tall, dark figure towering above him. He gulped, rubbing at his eyes. "Rab! What are you doing here?"

"Aunt Jenifer said you stepped out for the afternoon and never came back. I came to find you." Rab replied, sitting on the deck edge next to the younger boy. Johnny bit his lips. He hadn't realized he had been gone so long. Oh well. He only hoped that the printer boy hadn't noticed his crying.

"What, did you want me to help with chores or something?" he asked suspiciously, trying to keep his voice from cracking. Rab shrugged just like he always did. "Nah, I was just worried, that's all."

"Worried?" Johnny asked curiously. "Well yeah. You left a long while ago and it's going to get dark soon. Wouldn't you be worried if I was the one that was gone?"

"I guess so…" Johnny teased, his heart racing. Rab was worried about him. Him! Oh god, he was getting giddy. What was wrong with him? This was ridiculous. He knew he couldn't have Rab. But then again that didn't mean he couldn't be excited.

"So what were you thinking about?" Rab inquired. Johnny thought a moment before saying, "What do you mean? Can't someone just go for a swim nowadays?"

Rab rolled his eyes before replying. "If you were just going for a swim, then why were you gone for so long, but your skin isn't all wrinkly?" Johnny looked down to realize two things. The first was that it was fairly obvious he hadn't been swimming for more then half an hour. The second was that he was stark naked. His face reddened as he tried to cover himself up without Rab noticing.

"Well…so maybe I was thinking, but it wasn't anything important. Just thinking about, you know, um…"

"If it was nothing then why were you gone so long?"

"Um…" Johnny was completely flustered now, trying to find a way around his thoughts. But he couldn't. He looked back up at deep ebony eyes before finally saying, "I was just thinking about…well about you."

Rab tilted his head curiously before motioning for Johnny to continue. He bit his lips before saying, "Well it's just that…with this war coming and all I'm…I don't want you to go Rab.

"It just isn't right. Ever since the tension started, all you can talk about is how you need a better gun and how you can't wait to shoot at the British. It scares me Rab. No one should be this eager to kill another man."

"But Johnny, this is the good for nothing British we're talking about. They tax us for all we're worth and won't give us freedom. We have to fight…"

"But do you have to be so goddamn happy about it?" Johnny cried, his grip on the dock tightening, his eyes starting to water. Rab stopped, his own eyes wide.

"You act like its some wonderful thing. You and all the others. But this isn't some grand adventure. People are going to die Rab. Good people. Are you really willing to go and kill those people? Are you willing to kill them, to watch their blood run cold, knowing that they probably have family waiting for them? Children, wives, mothers, sisters, brothers, friends…it just isn't right. I know you. You like a good fight, and it scares me. I don't want to think of you as a killer Rab. I don't…" Tears streamed down Johnny's face, his chest feeling tight. He hadn't meant to say all that, but he just couldn't stop himself as the words poured out, his feeling all out on the table. He looked down at the water, unable to face the young man. He was only able to watch Rab's reflection as the older boy let out a breathe, his hand brushing a stand of hair out of his eyes.

"Johnny, I'm sorry. But I'm afraid that you're just going to have to find a way to live with it…"

"NO! I don't want to! I have had to deal with this pain for too long now! I don't want to do this anymore Rab. I'm tired of worrying about you!" Johnny yelled, frustration overtaking his sadness. "Don't you get it! I'm afraid that you're going to go and kill some great men, some fathers and sons, and then end up dieing anyway! I don't want you to die damn it! I don't want you die! I don't…oh god Rab…"

Johnny's body started to grow limp, his anger leaving again. He had nothing. He had rid himself of the sadness, the anger…now all that was left was the salty tears that rushed down his flushed face, his heavy breathing and heaving shoulders. He felt empty and alone, tightly gripping the dock pole and burrowing his face against it, not wanting to face his friend.

Rab sat there for a moment, trying to take in all that his young friend had said. He knew his friend was worried, but he had no idea that he had been keeping all these things to himself. It saddened him that he hadn't been there for Johnny. He had always cared for the boy and always tried to help, but now he was the cause of the problems.

Rab stood, glancing at the setting sun before undoing his hair and striping down, leaving his clothes next the Johnny's. He slowly slid into the icy water, his feet hitting the sandy bottom. Moving forward, he reached out, brushing his fingers against the boys shaking shoulders. Startled, Johnny's head snapped up, his eyes wide and moist.

"It's alright Johnny, really. Just relax…" Rab soothed, his hands softly massaging the boys shoulder. Fear overtook Johnny as he tried to pull back, tried to get away. The older boy was a bit taken aback, but continued to try to calm him as he swam closer. The boy only grew more frightened, his emotions frazzled and confused. He pulled out of Rab's grip and started to swim away from the dock, to get away from the pain. Shaking his head the young man swam after. About twenty feet out, he finally caught up to Johnny, pulling him back.

"Rab! Stop it, please! Stop! Rab!" Johnny cried, his voice cracking as he tossed and turned to get out of the printer's grip. But Rab wasn't letting him go this time. He pulled the boy close to him, wrapping his strong arms around him. Johnny's breath hitched as he felt the older boy's body touch his, holding him tight.

"Rab…"

"Shush." Rab interrupted, pulling Johnny closer to himself. "It's alright. Just calm down."

Johnny could feel his eyes water again, but this time he didn't bother to stop them. He cried, his face resting on Rab's strong chest, the older boy whispering calming words. Slowly, Johnny's body relaxed into the printer's, his tears easing up. Even so, the two stayed just like they were, holding each other close. He could feel Rab's gentle heart beat, his chest rising and falling, his warm breathe tickling his ear. The waves were gentle, moving the two bodies slightly this way and that. Johnny's eyes stopped flowing as he snuggled closer to Rab.

"Are you alright now?" Rab asked, his voice full of concern. Johnny nodded, wrapping his arms around the older boy's muscular back. He smiled, taking Johnny's face in his hands so he could look him in the eye. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I just needed to get that all off my chest I think." He replied, his face growing warm as he slowly realized what was going on. He was in the water with Rab, hugging him, both of them without clothes. He decided that he best try to ignore these facts and instead try to figure things out. "Rab…you're still going to fight, aren't you?"

"Yes Johnny. I understand why you don't like it, but I can't sit back. Surely you can see why." He nodded. He knew from the start there was no stopping Rab from going and fighting. It was part of who he was and what he stood for.

"Then…can you promise that you will try your hardest not to die? That you'll try your best to come back." Johnny pleaded, staring straight into dark, caring eyes. "Yes Johnny, I'll try my best to come back. I promise."

"Thank you." With that, the younger boy smiled and borrowed his head against Rab's chest, feeling almost satisfied. But there was still something more he wanted, something more he wanted to say… "Rab?"

"Yes?"

"I…well what I mean to say is…um…"

"Yes?" Rab urged.

"I…I love you." Johnny bit his lips, waiting for the reply. Awkward silence fell upon them, until Rab chuckled softly. The boy looked up, mouth open to demand a reason for the laughter. He never got a chance.

Rab took his lips, kissing him softly and lovingly. The boy stared wide-eyed, his whole body going stiff. What was he doing? Was he…kissing him? The older boy pulled back slightly, his forehead resting on Johnny's. He continued to blink in shock at the printer, his mind trying to comprehend what had happened.

"R-Rab?"

"What, did you think I didn't know how you felt about me? I've known for a while Johnny. And you know what?" The boy shook his head, unable to reply. Rab smiled. "I love you too Johnny."

It took Johnny a moment for his mind to catch up with his body as he pulled the older boy closer, pressing his lips against the other's. Rab kissed him back, one of his hands snaking its way into the boy's hair while the other pulled him even closer, their bodies flush against each other. Johnny moaned as the other softly nipped at his lips. He took the hint, allowing the older boy into his mouth. Rab's tongue explored the boy's entrance, tasting him. It wasn't long before he backed out, coaxing the other to join. Johnny gladly followed, joyfully basking in the warmth of it. They continued to kiss each other, the sun setting softly behind them. Darkness overtook the town, but neither of the boys noticed or cared.

"Rab…"Johnny gasped as he pulled back, his breathing heavy. Rab could only smile as he softly kissed the boy's damp hair. "It's getting a bit cold Johnny. Perhaps we should be headed home."

"Must we?" he asked, his grip tightening.

"Well, we should at least get out of the water, lest we get some awful flu." Rab replied, his legs kicking gently as he pulled the boy with him towards the shore. Sighing, Johnny finally let go and swam with him, suddenly realizing that the water was, in fact, very cold.

When they arrived at the dock, Rab easily pulled himself out of the water, causing Johnny to remember once again that they were both naked. He couldn't help but stare at the dark, muscular form. His arms and chest looked strong, probably from all his work in the print shop, while his skin looked smooth, its color dark and exotic. But finally, much to Johnny's chagrin, he couldn't help but notice the printer's fairly large manhood. Rab stood, brushing his moist hair out of the way when he noticed the boy's staring. He chuckled, asking "Are you going to stay in there all night?"

Johnny could feel his face flush. Cautiously he gripped the dock edge to get up, but stopped. Unlike Rab, he had always been modest about people seeing him without his clothes, even other men. He continued to stall, trying to think of a way out of his situation. Rolling his eyes, the older boy reached down, grabbed Johnny's wrist and yanked him out of the water. The boy was caught off guard and accidentally fell against Rab, the young man taking hold of his sides to help balance him.

"You alright?" Rab asked uncertainly. Johnny nodded, his face growing redder by the moment.

"Yes, I-I'm fine, really. I was j-just…um…you see it was…"

"You were embarrassed, weren't you?" Rab stated. The boy bit his lip cutely, nodding. The older boy chuckled, his hands softly caressing Johnny's slim sides. "There's no need to be embarrassed. It's just me…"

"Wha…no, it's not that but, well I…" he was cut short as Rab kissed him, sucking softly on Johnny's lower lip. His eyes slid shut, soft moans leaving his throat as the young man took his mouth, his tongue caressing it. His breathe hitched has soft hands ran up his chest, Rab's thumbs teasing his nipples. He tried to give protest, only to get a mouth full of tongue as the printer continued to kiss him. Finally, Johnny gave into the touches, his back arching slightly as he cried out. His body relaxed against Rab's, jolts running down his spine as the older boy's arousal rubbed against him. The jolts were much like the ones he got when he saw Cilla or Lavinia, but much more pleasurable and much stronger.

Johnny wrapped his arms around the older boy's neck, pulling the warm mouth even closer as their tongues continued to dance. Before he knew what was happening, the boy found his back on the dock with Rab towering over, devouring his soft neck. He threw his head back, moaning the printer's name, begging for more. Oh god, this wonderful. He wasn't sure he could take much more.

"Johnny, you sure you want to do this?" Rab asked. The boy nodded vigorously. He didn't know what the older boy was talking about, but he didn't care. If it was like this, he would do it. Smiling, Rab sucked gently on his finger, coating them in his saliva. He could hear Johnny whimper at the lost of his warm tongue. The poor boy had no idea what he was in for. Shaking his head and chuckling, Rab moved his young friend's legs so that he could easily access his arse. Johnny looked up curiously, growing uncomfortable with the older boy staring at him so, when he suddenly felt a finger enter him. He threw his head back again, a cry leaving his swollen lips, his eyes clamped shut. He could feel the finger dig deeper into him before pulling back, before diving in again. The muscles strained, adjusting to the intrusion. Just when Johnny thought the finger wasn't all that bad, he felt a second finger enter. He bit his lips, trying to keep from crying out again. If anyone caught them…oh dear lord he didn't want to think about it.

Finally a third finger was added, causing Johnny to give a half cry, half moan. After more stretching and straining, he grew accustomed to all three of the intruders and was moaning Rab's name. Rab himself could only watch on with interest, the cries of pleasure enticing him. Johnny was so beautiful…and soon would be his. He felt a smile cross his face with this thought as he pulled his fingers from the boy. Said bay whimpered in protest, begging for more. He pleads grew quiet as he felt Rab's arousal take their place, slowly starting to enter him. Johnny cringed, his muscle stretching even further. He wasn't sure he could do it.

"It's alright Johnny. Just relax…" Rab soothed as he nipped softly at the boy's ears, trying to distract him. Johnny's breath became ragged, his knuckles turning white as he strained. He just couldn't relax. The older continued to whisper to him to no avail. Finally Rab moved, taking the boy's lips and entering them, coaxing him to join in the dance. He desperately kissed back, begging for release. Johnny's body gradually relaxed, allowing the older boy to fill him completely. He stayed there, allowing the younger boy to fully adjust and relax. The two continued to kiss, Rab now becoming the desperate one, begging to move. After another minute or two, Johnny wrapped his slender legs around the other's waist, moaning, "Damn it Rab…do it already…"

With that, Rab moved slowly out before thrusting back in, enlisting muffled cries from Johnny as they continued to kiss. The rhythm stayed even and slow, growing slightly faster with every couple of thrusts. The younger boy dug his nails into Rab's back, his body growing used to the feeling. Jolts of pleasure ran rampant through his body, soon overtaking the pain and leaving it in the dust. Johnny cried out in ecstasy, begging for more as Rab hit a spot deep inside him. The older boy eagerly complied, quickening the pace. It soon became rampant and out of control as the two moaned each others names, both on the brink. Finally, unable to take anymore, Johnny came, his warmth covering their chest. Rab came soon after, filling the boy with his own seed. The two collapsed, their bodies now weak and covered with sweat. But they were content that way, simply holding each other close and enjoying the afterglow.

"Rab?"

"Hmm?"

"You swear you'll try your hardest to come back?"

"I promise Johnny, I'll give it my best."

"Good"

"But you know, we best be headed home."

"Must we?"

"Well…I suppose we could stay a bit longer."

"I want to stay forever."

"I know."

"I love you Rab."

"And I love you, Johnny Tremain."

………………………………………………..

So cute!

I had fun with that fic, so I hope you all liked it too. Special love goes to Rikusgurl and WatashinoChibiTenshi for introducing me to the book (also known as PetPetAngel Helga22 on this site). Oh, and the hugging each other in the water thing was inspired by Rikusgurl's picture, so I suggest you check her stuff out on FAC. It is soooooo pretty! And Watashi's fan fictions. They are so cute!


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